The Ship of Dreams
by Twi-Vamp
Summary: Bella is Alice, daughter of the esteemed Dr.Cullens companion aboard the great Titanic, earning money for her father. Bella & Edward soon fall in love. Will they survive the tragedy & what will Edwards family think of their relationship? R&R please
1. Companion

I sat alone on the train bound for Southampton. It was filled with the idle chatter of friends and a comforting warmth, which contrasted greatly with my feelings of despair. I had never been well off, but now that my father, Charlie, was unable to work due to illness I was to accompany the good Doctor Cullen's daughter to America and make my way in the world. My mother had died at childbirth and I had been raised by my father. Of course I had been sent away to live with my aunt so that I could be under a "feminine influence" when I was 13. I had attended a convent and been taught many things, sure to be useful in life, but had returned to care for my father when he became ill when I was just 17.

I was now almost 19. Too young and my youthful good looks too prominent, said the White Star Line, to become a stewardess, so I had taken a job as a companion where I would travel to America and make a living there. I did not miss the irony of the fact that I would be traveling with the very company that had refused me a job.

I was to keep Miss. Cullen, daughter of the esteemed Doctor. Cullen, company on the great steam-liner Titanic on her maiden voyage. Needless to say I was very excited at the prospect of spending the voyage on such a fine ship, despite my fear of the sea. There was just a week left until we were to set sail for New York, and Miss. Cullen had requested that I arrive prior to sailing day, as there was "much to be done".

What could possibly take a week that I had to be involved in I had no idea, however I was anxious to start my new life as soon as possible, so I did not contest her decision.

I was greeted by Miss. Cullen herself, who offered me a warm smile and started explaining the day's plans in great detail. I was at ease around her at once, and found her extremely likeable. I thought back over the stories I had heard about insufferable women who employed companions only to treat them as slaves and was thankful that Miss. Cullen seemed nothing like the frightful women I had been warned of.

We arrived at the hotel where we would be staying for the remainder of our time in Southampton and I let out a small gasp. The rooms were extremely large and even had their own washrooms.

Miss. Cullen turned to me with a warm smile.

"I would appreciate it if you would come to my room when you have settled in here. You shall be sharing with Angela, our maid. And please do not unpack for the meantime, if it is not too much of an inconvenience, as I would like to see what we need to purchase before the trip" she said all this in a warm, friendly voice, as though we had known each other all our lives and were great friends. I thanked her and she left me to my thoughts.

After I had freshened up using the sink in the corner of my room (it even had scented soap, I worried that all the luxury would soften me up as I was not used to it) I did as Miss. Cullen had instructed and called on her with my small suitcase of belongings.

"Ah, there you are Isabella! Shall we get started? Bring your suitcase over here and we shall see what we must purchase for you."

Her seeming zest-for life and bubbly personality was contagious and I found myself feeling a lot more content than I had mere hours previous. That still did not stop me blushing, however, when I had to lay out my garments for her to inspect. My best dress was pale and ratty in comparison to the gorgeous dress she was wearing just now, and I dreaded to think of what my clothes must look like compared to her evening gowns.

"Ahh, we do have quite a lot of work to do, don't we?" rather than seeming disgusted or disappointed as I had expected, her tone was friendly and almost eager.

"Oh, but what a gorgeous hat" she had pointed out my only presentable possession.

"It was a gift for my fifteenth birthday from my aunt. It used to belong to my mother." I replied timidly.

"It is very pretty" then she looked over at me thoughtfully "How old are you, Isabella?" then as and afterthought "you don't mind me calling you Isabella do you? Do you have a nick-name that you prefer, Isabella is quite long"

"I'm 18 , 19 in September. And I don't really have a nick-name, Isabella is fine" I replied, feeling more at ease around her by the minute.

"Ah, I am already 19." I started at this, with her high cheekbones and very attractive, although shockingly pale, complexion I expected her to be older, although she was not much taller than me, her glossy black hair fell straight down to just below her ears, unusually short, however it suited her pixie-like features. She noticed my expression and giggled, it was a childish, soul-lightening sound.

"Don't look at me like that! I'm not a complete monster, even the most prestigious socialites of the upper class were 19 once you know" her sarcasm and the way she referred to the upper class as though she belonged to another group entirely made me giggle myself, to which her smile widened.

"I think that we are going to get along splendidly Isabella, although you do not seem to be a hard person to get along with. And as I wish for us to be friends, please could you stop calling me , it makes me feel older than my years" she chuckled.

"What do you wish for me to address you by then Miss…" I trailed off, not sure of how to address her.

"Just Alice shall suffice" she smiled a warm smile and then continued "We are going to be spending a lot of time together Isabella and it is my wish that we become friends. After all that is the general definition of companion, is it not"

I was shocked, I had never been asked to address someone above my station with first name only and I did not know what the proper form of action would be. Then again, I decided, she is employing me so the least I could do was call her what she wished.

"Of course…"

"As I said before, just Alice would suffice. I guess shall have to do" she sighed, feigning exasperation with a twinkle in her eye.

"Of course…" She grinned at me and turned back to the clothes.

"Well now, apart from this splendid hat, I'm afraid we are going to have to supply you with more suitable clothes"

I was horrified, I was positive I knew what classed as "suitable clothes" and I knew I would not be able to afford them

"oh, no- , I'm afraid I wont be able to afford any new clothes. I'm sorry if any of my current garments are disagreeable to you, but they are simply all I own"

"nonsense Isabella! We shall provide the suitable attire for your journey. In fact I quite enjoy shopping for garments, even if they are not for my possession. I find sopping one of the finest pleasures in life"

She looked up at me before informing me of the fittings we would be attending for our new gowns today and throughout the rest of the week. We spent a great remainder of the day in all number of magnificent shops, being prodded and pinned into place. A vast number of the gowns I was being fitted for were so luxurious and obviously expensive that I tried in vain to stand completely still for fear of damaging them in some way.

After was satisfied with the number of garments we had acquired we returned to the hotel for dinner. Once we arrived at the hotel, she requested that I help her prepare for our evening meal.

"As much as I enjoy purchasing gowns and other such garments and beautifications I do resent having to change for every meal, it does get rather tedious" she giggled "although do not tell my brother Emmett's wife , Rosalie, so, she does so enjoy getting dressed up and all the attention that goes with it." She added conversationally. "Did you enjoy today Isabella?"

"Yes, it was quite enjoyable thank you" I lied, not wanting to tell her that I had also found it rather tedious and hurt her feelings.

"Come now, do not bother yourself with trying to give me the answers you think I want to hear, I'd much rather have your honest opinion"

"Well, I…I did find it rather tiring, but that was probably due to the fact that I am not used to such things. It was still enjoyable though."

She laughed, the sound was like bells. "What are you planning on doing once we get to America, if I may be so bold as to ask, Isabella?"

I faltered, although my hands, which were carefully styling her hair, did not so much as tremble "I intend to make my way in the world and send some of my wages back home to my ailing father, and then hopefully eventually return to care for him" I looked down, concentrating on my work so as not to let my tears betray me.

"What of your mother? Is she not able to care for him?" she asked gently "You do not have to answer my questions if you do not wish to, I am curious by nature and sometimes it makes me appear rude, I am sorry if I offended you"

"Not at all . In fact I find it comforting that you take an interest in my history, no-one else has ever done so. And my mother died in childbirth. I was sent to live with my aunt for most of my teenage years, who has always been overly kind to me."

"oh you poor dear!" she turned around and surprised me by giving me a gentle hug.

"Come along now, sit down." I looked up at her confused. "Why, you don't expect me to let you style my hair and then leave you to do your own do you?"

I was shocked "that wont be necessary , I am capable of styling it myself. You do not have to worry yourself"

"Nonsense, I shall enjoy it. As I said before Isabella, I wish for us to become friends. I do so resent long journeys with no one but the "elite upper class" for company" her sarcasm was probably more enjoyable than it should have been, however it seemed natural for her.

"It gets rather dull without a companion, and my childhood was spent minding my P's and Q's around the children society said I should associate myself with, and therefore friendships did not thrive as they were forced."

I was surprised that she went into such detail about her childhood when she was only talking to me and suspected that she resented society for stealing her childhood, as I would have had I been in her place.

I sat down and she was soon done with my hair. She started plying me with all manner of questions about my past and upbringing, I struggled to answer them truthfully, although I was saved the cynicism most of the upper class would have shown me, and in its place I was given comfort and sympathy.

Just as I was struggling to explain about the close bond I had with my father, despite the distance there had been between us, there was a voice like velvet from behind us.

"Leave the poor girl alone Alice dear, can you not see that she is dead on her feet from the day of fittings she has probably had to endure. I am sure there will be plenty of time to become better acquainted in the very near future."

Alice turned around suddenly and flew across the room. "Edward!" she cried, throwing herself into the mans arms. "You're here!"

"I'm not interrupting am I?"

"No, of course not!" she danced back over to me, taking hold of my hand and pulling me back to where Edward was standing.

"Edward, this is Isabella. She just arrived today."

"Pleasure to meet you ." he took my hand and kissed it lightly before straightening up and smiling. I blushed, no one had ever called me Miss before in my life, nor kissed my hand, and I had the feeling again, that this was another thing I enjoyed more than I should.

I took in Edwards appearance for the first time since he had entered the room, he was taller than both his sister and I, with bronze hair that was slightly out of place. He had the same pale complexion as his sister and was also stunningly handsome, with sparkling emerald eyes peering warmly down into mine. He looked to be about 20 but as with his sister maybe he looked older than his actual age.

"Isabella, this is my brother, Edward" she smiled at me.

"Hello" I managed to mumble, no doubt blinding them both with my wit.

"Are you ready Alice? Diner started half an hour ago"

"Yes yes, we are now, why did you not call on us sooner?"

"I was making the arrangements for our luggage… May I have the great pleasure of accompanying you two stunning ladies to the dining hall"

"Why of course, Edward. The pleasure is ours entirely!" Edward obviously did not miss the hint of sarcasm in Alice's voice as he rolled his eyes.

"It never hurts to be polite, Alice"

"My apologies Edward, it's just that I can remember when we were children and you used to run around the garden making forts and mother would scold you for getting your clothes dirty" she grinned at him as she linked her arm through his "It just does not seem natural, you being so awfully well spoken and polite"

"Oh and you would be one to talk" they both laughed as Edward turned to me and offered me his arm. "Isabella?"

I place my arm through his, really feeling like royalty, despite the fact that my face, no doubt, betrayed my shock, however Edward seemed not to notice and we went down to dinner, then again he was probably just being polite. I had been told when eating in the company of the upper class, to simply copy the most mannerly person at the table. I did so but was still relieved that it was only Alice, Edward, their maid, Angela and I who were dining at the table. At first I found it strange that they allowed a maid to eat with them, but did not dwell on the fact as I realized that it did not shock me as much as it should and that I was already growing fond of the Cullen's and their kind ways.

My feelings of gratitude grew stronger still when Edward, who was seated next to me, noticing my attempts at copying Alice's every gesture, leant across and whispered in my ear.

"Do not bother yourself with learning all the fripperies of first class dining right at this moment dear Isabella. Alice and I can instruct you later, when there is more time at hand, until then do not fret to be your self"

I found the last part of his comment comforting, as I found myself realizing as the evening wore on and did not feel the need to pretend that I was well brought up and hide my obvious background.

We spent the next few days leisurely rushing around Southampton. It was strange how one could be in such an awful hurry to get things done and yet still travel around at a fairly relaxed pace and still have time to spare at the end of the day. The days started to form the pattern of the upper classes; , Angela and I would go about our business in Southampton for most of the morning and well into the afternoon, we would then retire to a café in which we would have steaming cups of tea or coffee, as Alice preferred, and finally retire to the hotel where we would don our finest gowns, purchased the day before, and would insist on styling my hair, before going down to dinner. Edward never accompanied us on our escapades as he often had business to attend to around the city, he did, however join us in the evening almost every night, where he and Alice would take great delight in teaching me the manners of the dinner table whilst Angela looked on smiling.

Angela and I soon became close friends, despite the short time we had been acquainted which I supposed was what happened when two peaceful souls, both opposed to conflict, shared a room and were both employed under the same person. Alice and I similarly became close, closer than I had expected us to be during the whole trip, although she was such a likeable character and so intent on treating me like a friend rather than someone employed to act the part, it was hard to find any faults with her personality at all.

One evening, once dinner was over, Alice lead us to the ballroom where a small band were playing softly in the center of the room. Angela excused herself and hurried upstairs, no doubt unwilling for attention.

Alice was promptly swept away by a tall dark haired man, but not before whispering in my ear to have fun and enjoy myself. Edward stood silently next to me as I wondered what I was supposed to do and if it would be rude to follow Angela upstairs. I turned to face Edward and voice my queries but when he smiled warmly at me all my thoughts jumbled together and I was momentarily stunned by his beauty.

"May I have this dance?" he requested with a gentle smile.

"I-of course" I stuttered, my normal sense of comfort around him impaired by the flawless smile now fixed on his face.

"I don't know how" I admitted as he placed his hand in mine.

"Don't worry" he replied confidently, as he placed his hand on my waist and I felt my heart stutter. He leaned his head down so that his breath tickled my neck "It's all in the leading" he whispered in my ear.

I concentrated on my feet the entire time, until I felt his breath tickle my neck again as he leaned down to whisper in my ear "Please have a little faith in my dancing skills Isabella, besides it would be a great shame not to be able to see those beautiful eyes of yours all evening"

I flushed and looked up into his face to see him smiling gently.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I don't know what came over me"

"It's quite alright Edward"

He looked up and grinned at me, we continued dancing until the last bars of music faded away and I was so high on the magic of everything that I forgot for a while why I was here. Alice may make me feel like a princess with the expensive clothes, large rooms and delicate meals, but Edward made me feel special in completely different way. Which was simply absurd as we had know each other no more than a week and there were several social classes separating us.

Later that night I told Angela of our dance and she was very understanding, she informed me that he was a "mighty fine gentleman with a heart of gold" and that she was surprised he hadn't settled down already, although word was that no-one had taken his fancy.


	2. Dance

One evening, once dinner was over, Alice lead us to the ballroom where a small band were playing softly in the center of the room. Angela excused herself and hurried upstairs, no doubt unwilling for attention.

Alice was promptly swept away by a tall dark haired man, but not before whispering in my ear to have fun and enjoy myself. Edward stood silently next to me as I wondered what I was supposed to do and if it would be rude to follow Angela upstairs. I turned to face Edward and voice my queries but when he smiled warmly at me all my thoughts jumbled together and I was momentarily stunned by his beauty.

"May I have this dance?" he requested with a gentle smile.

"I-of course" I stuttered, my normal sense of comfort around him impaired by the flawless smile now fixed on his face.

"I don't know how" I admitted as he placed his hand in mine.

"Don't worry" he replied confidently, as he placed his hand on my waist and I felt my heart stutter. He leaned his head down so that his breath tickled my neck "It's all in the leading" he whispered in my ear.

I concentrated on my feet the entire time, until I felt his breath tickle my neck again as he leaned down to whisper in my ear "Please have a little faith in my dancing skills Isabella, besides it would be a great shame not to be able to see those beautiful eyes of yours all evening"

I flushed and looked up into his face to see him smiling gently.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I don't know what came over me"

"It's quite alright Edward"

He looked up and grinned at me, we continued dancing until the last bars of music faded away and I was so high on the magic of everything that I forgot for a while why I was here. Alice may make me feel like a princess with the expensive clothes, large rooms and delicate meals, but Edward made me feel special in completely different way. Which was simply absurd as we had know each other no more than a week and there were several social classes separating us.

Later that night I told Angela of our dance and she was very understanding, she informed me that he was a "mighty fine gentleman with a heart of gold" and that she was surprised he hadn't settled down already, although word was that no-one had taken his fancy.

9th April

It was the evening before we were due to board the RMS Titanic. I was secretly terrified about traveling on such a huge vessel and was afraid that all number of things could go wrong. I had been putting the terror off all week and now it seemed to have caught up with me. I couldn't sleep, whenever I shut my eyes scenes would play out before me of all the scenarios that could lead to our deaths. I wasn't normally such a pessimist but the stress of my fathers illness coupled with a fear of traveling was not a good combination.

I decided to go for a walk around the grounds of the hotel and so silently slipped my coat on over the top of my nightgown. It was long enough that no-one would be able to tell that I was wearing my night clothes and it was late enough, or rather early enough in the morning, that I probably wouldn't have to worry about anyone seeing me anyway. I left my hair down around my shoulders and headed out into the brisk Spring night. I exited through one of the side doors and emerged into a maze of sweet smelling bushes and bright flowers. I inhaled and immediately felt a lot calmer as I followed the familiar path to a bench where Angela and I had sat for a few hours a couple of days ago when Alice decided to let us off for one of her shopping trips. As I rounded the corner I noticed someone sat beneath the intricate web of roses that crawled gracefully up the hotel wall. He looked up before I could turn around and I was immediately met by a pair of curious emerald eyes.

"Isabella?" he placed his book back in his pocket and came over to me.

"I-I'm sorry to disturb you Edward. I couldn't sleep so I came down here for some fresh air"

"Not to worry, I was just wishing for some company actually" he smiled a breathtaking smile and I felt as though my heart had audibly sped up "looks like my prayers were answered."

He held out his hand and I took it, feeling as though energy ran through us where our skin touched. I immediately scolded myself for having such strong reactions to a man I hardly knew, and not to mention was completely out of my reach, even though I couldn't help it. He pulled me gently towards the bench and sat down next to me.

"Although I am sorry you couldn't sleep. What's bothering you?"

I was surprised that he could tell there was something wrong, although that was normally the reason for someone wandering around in the middle of the night. That lead me to wondering why he was out here.

"Nothing." I responded automatically, not used to someone taking an interest in my problems.

"That's okay, you don't have to tell me. Although you can tell me anything you know, if you ever feel like you just want to talk, I'm always here. I won't judge you."

I was startled; it was such an unusual thing for someone of his station to say to someone like me. Although if I had to chose anyone most likely to break the unspoken rules of society I would have said the Cullen's. But then maybe I was prejudice. Maybe I was so stuck in my stubborn beliefs that everyone of a first class nature was stuck-up and cared for no-one but themselves that I had blinded myself and had overlooked any form of kindness shown by anyone of the upper classes. I shook myself. No, Alice had told me that almost everyone she knew acted like they owned the world and that everyone should worship the ground they walk on. The Cullen's were different.

"It's nothing important. I was just worrying about my father" I told the half truth, praying that the main reason for my sleep depraved state would not be obvious to him.

"Ah, yes. I'm sorry, I heard about his illness."

"It's okay. Why are you out here? If I may be so bold as to ask" I looked down at my hands and fiddled with the hem of my coat.

"I couldn't sleep. I have no idea why, so I came out here to read" he held up his book. Wuthering Heights.

"I love that book" I said almost automatically; it had been one of my favorites since childhood and was one of the few books we had actually owned.

We talked for hours that seemed like only minutes, until the early morning sun started to throw weak golden rays through the plants at us and illuminated our faces. I excused myself and thanked him for his company before going back to the room I shared with Angela to get ready for the day ahead.


	3. Sailing day

10th April

Sailing day loomed promisingly on the horizon, I did not admit it to anyone but Angela, but I was secretly terrified of the sea. I was sure, once I was aboard the great RMS Titanic, that all would be well. Our belongings were stowed safely aboard ship already and Alice took great delight in making us all look "presentable". Despite her constant comment on how tedious changing outfits before every meal may be, informed me, she did enjoy dressing herself and others up in their fineries, just not when it involved getting changed again within the hour.

I was dressed in one of my finest newly acquired dresses, a deep green, with my mothers straw hat, and felt very on show. Miss Alice of course looked stunning, and even Angela, clad in a simple but flattering burgundy dress, looked her best. The fact that Miss Alice even allowed her maid to wear what she pleased surprised me also, and I got the feeling that the stewards aboard RMS Titanic would be summoned more often than Angela and I.

The first thing I thought as I caught sight of the magnificent ship was that Titanic was like nothing I had seen, or was likely to see, in my entire life. It was beautiful, sitting majestically atop the waves, gleaming and new. A "feat of engineering magnificence" as many a newspaper had put it. Everything gleamed and sparkled in the weak spring sunlight. Crowds of people were cheering and smiling and I wondered how many were here to bid farewell to friends or relatives and how many were here just for the excitement. I wondered at the thought that the china had never been used, the chairs never sat on and the beds never slept on. Everything was new. And I had never felt more out of place; I was not used to such luxury.

People rushed all around us, third class passengers undergoing health checks whilst the first class exited their gleaming cars as spotless as their dresses and strode regally towards the proud titanic.

Edward held out his arm for Alice and then looked at me expectantly, I took hold of his arm, and when Alice realized that there were three women present and her brother only had two arms, offered Angela her other. Edward let out a ringing laugh and we strode forward together, all four of us with huge smiles on our faces, looking for all the world like we would rather be no place else. And for me, at least, it was true, for the past few days had been surprisingly enjoyable, and I looked forward to this trip, with the kind Cullen siblings, not as a job, as I should do, but more a voyage of pleasure.

We must have looked a pompous sight, for we earned a lot of confused looks from various bystanders, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

We strolled up to the gang-plank where Edward let go of our arms to help us gain our footing. The ship was gigantic. I had the urge to reach out and touch the side of the ship but feared it would be frowned upon. Once on board Alice took off at an alarming pace, yet still looking as graceful and serene as ever, so that we could be up on deck when we departed. Angela and I exchanged dubious looks with each other as Edward came up behind us.

"I am sorry about her, regrettably she does get a little over excited on sailing day, although she does usually calm down a bit by the evening. This is why we do try not to let her out of the house." He winked and Angela and I both giggled. "May I?" he asked, ever the gentleman.

"Of course" I replied as both Angela and I took an arm each and he led us up to top deck.

"They say she's practically unsinkable, you know" Edward said casually, I looked around me, surprised that with so many people and so much luggage the ship could stay afloat at all.

"wow" whispered Angela, similarly in shock.

"Now, how do you propose we find my delinquent of a sister" we both giggled again at the joke at his sisters expense and he flashed us a stunning crooked smile.

"There she is!" I pointed towards the railing where she was leaning forward, waving to someone.

"Isabella, Edward, Angela! I was wondering where you had all gotten to! Come, look!"

She pulled me over to her by my hand and I reluctantly let go of Edwards arm.

"Who are you waving to Alice?" I could not remember when I had stopped calling her Miss, in my head, I could only remember the look of delight that crossed her face when I called her by first name only and dropped the formalities. It hadn't seemed like such a social faux-pas though, it had seemed natural, to call both of the Cullen siblings by their first names. Edward had been just as adamant as his sister that I called him by first name only.

"No-one in particular" we all laughed and I was reminded, again, of how lucky I was to have such wonderful people employ me, for I was sure that not every passenger would be so kind.

The beginning of the Titanic's maiden voyage seemed to take a considerable amount more time than most of the passengers expected, although I heard no complaints it was obvious through the disapproving looks given to any member of the crew by various passengers.

"I wonder what is taking so long" Alice pondered aloud, leaning against the railing alongside Angela whose long hair billowed elegantly behind her.

" I shall go find out" Edward straightened up from where he too, had been leaning against the railing and disappeared into the seething crowd. He reappeared after about a half hour.

"My goodness Edward, I was wondering if I should ever see you again" Alice exclaimed dramatically.

"Yes Edward, we were about to send out search parties for you" Angela joked with them. I was pleasantly surprised as it was unlike Angela to contribute to a conversation when she had not been spoken to first, however I quickly forgot about it and put it down to the excitement that was almost tangible in the air.

"Fear not! I survived" Edward exclaimed dramatically, before explaining that as the Titanic had left her berth, her wake caused a small liner to break away from its moorings, whereupon it almost collided with the great ship, and that this was the cause of the delay.

Every available space near the railings was crowded with people, children were jumping up and down, looks of delighted excitement upon their faces, sisters and brothers, daughters and sons, mothers and fathers were all waving as we left England behind. I was so caught up in the excitement that I didn't mind that I was not right up against the railings.

"What rotten luck that we cannot see" Edward exclaimed from behind me, I turned to him just as he jumped up onto a great metal cylinder that was near the edge and pulled me up with him. I giggled as he grinned at me and kept a firm hold on my waist so that I would not fall and injure myself.

We all retired inside once the ship had cast off, and just an hour behind schedule, started our voyage across the Atlantic.

***

Edward lead us all down the gleaming corridors to our rooms which were linked by a main sitting room. The rooms were stunning; gleaming and bright with our own private deck. With every surface polished and every wall decked in luxurious wallpaper scattered with beautiful paintings of seascapes and gardens. Alice and Edwards rooms were each the size of the whole ground floor of my fathers house, and although our room was considerably smaller, there was ample space for the two beds Angela and I would occupy and our few gowns and possessions. We even had our own private promenade deck!

Alice called us both in to help her prepare for dinner, saying that we must all look our best and I entered the dining saloon confident that I would be able to dine convincingly, after I had paid careful attention to the detailed explanations given by Alice and Edward.

As we neared our table Alice pulled me aside and quietly asked me if I was feeling alright.

"I'm fine" I replied hastily "It's just that this corset is a little tight" I finally admitted after she searched my eyes with her probing gaze.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll get used to it Isabella. Besides, after dinner we can loosen the wretched things a little". I smiled and we carried on towards the table where the stewards were waiting to seat us.

Angela, although treated more as a companion than maid, still ate with the other maids, as it would have been impolite for her to dine with us. I missed her company greatly that first meal, but soon forgot about my loneliness as our table became immersed in heated conversation. The other women, Alice and I merely observed as Edward and the other men occupying the table entered into heated discussions about the worlds events. I found it fascinating how Edward argued a point so clearly and persuasively that it was hard to think of an argument against him. He gestured pointedly with his hands and his eyes seemed to burn as he engaged everyone in conversation. I found myself disappointed when it became time for us to retire for the evening.

Once dinner was over Alice informed us that she was going to go and dance and was lead off to the ballroom by one of the many admirers she had acquired during dinner.

I looked curiously up at Edward who seemed to be studying me carefully. Seeing that he had noticed me looking I blushed and pretended to be taking in my surroundings.

"Would you like to walk with me, Isabella?" I felt a strange feeling of contentment when he said my name and simply nodded. He pulled my arm through his and set off at a steady pace for the nearest exit.

"Its not too cold for you out here is it?" He enquired.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you" I was touched by his thoughtfulness and smiled up at him.

As we headed for the bow of the ship, Edwards pace slowed as the deck became less crowded.

"I meant to ask you before" he let go of my arm and turned to face me, we were on the starboard side and the sea stretched out endlessly before us, illuminated by the setting sun, the sky a deep crimson, was flecked with points of light.

"Are you feeling alright? You look a little pale, I don't mean to be rude, I'm just a little worried about you" his smile never failed to take my breath away and his warm eyes were comforting yet concerned. He reached his warm hand out to lightly brush my frozen cheek in a comforting gesture and my skin tingled where his fingers had been.

"Alice asked me exactly the same thing before dinner. Thank you for your concern, but I'm really fine, There's no need to worry about me, I'm just feeling a little faint."

He frowned but let it go and I hoped that he couldn't tell that I was avoiding the discussion, I did not want to seem weak to him.

"It's so beautiful" I whispered, more to myself than anyone else, but Edward still heard.

"Yes, it is" he didn't even move his eyes away from my face and I blushed.

"Isabella…" he trailed off, sounding, for the first time since I had met him, unsure of himself. I fought the urge to touch his cheek as he had mine just a moment ago.

"yes?" I turned to watch him as he seemed to have an internal argument.

"I…" he trailed off, averting his eyes from my face and staring intently towards the sea.

"Yes" I whispered softly, giving into temptation and softly touching my fingertips to his cheek.

He turned back towards me and I was about to withdraw my hand when he placed his own hand over mine and held it in place.

He started to lean in towards me but stopped to read my face. "Bella…"

I never heard the rest of his sentence, I had the impression that I was falling before I felt strong arms around me, holding me and the last thing I heard was Edwards anxious voice, an angel calling my name, before I slipped into blackness.


	4. Formalities

I awoke bleary eyed, to find both Angela and Alice leaning over me.

"Ah, you're awake" Alice said gently, "How are you feeling?"

I peered up at them all, utterly confused.

"You gave us quite a fright Isabella" Edward came over and sat next to me.

"What happened" I asked, sitting up and realizing that I could do so without having the breath forced out of my lungs. Someone must have loosened my corset, for which I was grateful.

"You fainted whilst we were walking. I caught you and carried you to . She checked you over and told Alice, who had found me by that time, what to do." Edward looked at me nervously and I flushed when I realized that the Dr. would probably have told him that it was nothing serious and that my corset was simply too tight.

"here" Angela handed me a glass of water which I sipped slowly.

"You need to get some rest" Edward said gently as Alice and Angela silently left the room.

"Thank you, for helping me I mean"

"Do not worry about it Isabella" Edward came over and sat on the edge of the bed "Just promise me that it won't happen again, please" his emerald eyes bore down into mine and I nodded. "Thank you" he said, gently kissing me on the forehead and walking gracefully out of the door.

I drifted in and out of sleep, conscious of Angela silently entering the room and going to bed a little while later. My dreams were occupied by images of Edward that night, the feel of his arms around me and the way his lips felt as they kissed my forehead.

~oOo~

12th April

I used to wonder as a child how passengers did not go insane with boredom whilst on a steam-liner, I now realized that it was undoubtedly due to the fact that there were numerous corridors and rooms to explore aboard ships, no matter what the size.

Angela and I, at Alice's request, accompanied her and Edward for a walk about the ship. It was soothing to be in the open air, away from the hustle and bustle of people and I felt more relaxed than I ever had. Edward insisted on keeping me on his arm, "just incase" as he put it, and would inform me that I must tell any of them if I was feeling faint.

After walking about and "exploring" as Alice put it, Edward insisted upon stopping and going inside so that I could rest. Things were back to how they had been before our walk yesterday, and as he hadn't bought up in conversation what had almost-might have happened we hadn't discussed our brief moments alone on deck.

"I think it best that we let Isabella build her strength back up gradually" he smiled down at me.

"the last thing we want is a repeat of yesterday"

"Thank you for your concern Edward, and I do not mean to speak out of place, but I am much less fragile than I think you realize. And besides, I do not wish to dictate yours and Alice's plans for the day. It would not be right for someone of my station to do so, regardless of the circumstances."

Edward, whose eyes had been full of warm caring for the first part, for some reason unfathomable to me, seemed hurt. His eyes grew cold when I said the last few words and I wondered what I had said to offend him. Of course he did not show it but I could read it in his eyes.

"If you are sure, Isabella" It was Alice who spoke, as Edward had looked away from me and seemed to be intent on anything but me. I suddenly felt like I wanted to cry and wondered at my strange reaction to Edwards small rejection. It was not as though he had done anything to offend me, he had simply turned to continue walking.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, but the joy of freedom was ruined for me by Edwards cold sentences. He wasn't being impolite, however his voice did lack the special warmth that had drawn me to him so many times before. And then I realized what had been bothering me all day; he spoke to me as he did everyone else, except Alice. Normally he was polite and kind to everyone he talked to, no matter whether they were the most esteemed socialite or a member of the crew or a maid. I had noticed, however, that when he talked to Alice his voice held the hint of brotherly love only siblings knew. His eyes would, however, retain some of the weariness towards life, that they did when he was forced to discuss the subjects society deemed proper, and I suspected that he shared some of Alice's views on society, although he was a lot less outspoken about them.

And when he spoke to me his eyes had seemed to shine with a special kind of fire, where I had been so certain before I was now sure that I had imagined it. But the polite tone he now used towards me sent shivers down my spine with its cold formality.


	5. Confessions

13th April

Throughout lunch I noticed Edward keep gazing at me and then looking away quickly, although I don't think he knew I noticed, I was not the only one. I saw Alice shoot him a questioning look and a silent communication seemed to pass between them as she nodded and turned back to the conversation. Edward excused himself and quickly disappeared out onto the deck without meeting my gaze. After excusing ourselves Alice took my hand and paced quickly towards a quiet corner, near the door to the ballroom, where she whispered in my ear.

"Go and find my brother. I think you both need to talk. I shall be in the ballroom if you wish to find me, and we shall talk when you return to the cabin. Edward should be on the deck somewhere, he was always telling me that he found the sea calming when he needed to do some thinking."

I shot her a look of confusion mixed with shock and her laughter chimed around me.

"Don't pretend I haven't noticed how miserable you two are. I want this sorted out before we dock in New York"

I blushed and mumbled an apology as I wondered what difference it would make to her if Edward and I were not on good terms when we parted if it were not likely that we would meet again.

"Not to worry, dear Isabella. I just don't like seeing you so down" she gave me a gentle hug, it was hard to miss the care and concern in her voice.

"Now go find my brother, please. And put him out of his misery."

She hurried off and I was left wondering about her last comment. I decided I might as well do as she asked, after all she was my employer. And she wasn't the only one who didn't want the trip to end on bad terms between Edward.

I went out on deck and searched all over for Edward but couldn't find him. I was stopped a few times by stewards and asked if I needed assistance to which I replied that I was fine and enquired as to whether they had seen Edward or not. Each time they replied that they had not seen anyone about outside as there was a chilling breeze and that I should maybe go inside and wait for him there.

I ignored their suggestions and kept searching. I was just about to give up when I noticed a lone figure standing near the bow of the ship, the long coat swirling around them in the cool salty breeze. As I got nearer I noticed the thick bronze hair and slightly muscular figure that I knew belonged to Edward.

"?" I asked timidly. I had reverted back to calling him master in the past day and he had not complained or asked otherwise so it had stuck.

It was windy up here and I felt the wind tug at my hair and clothes. He did not jump or seem surprised that I was there, but he paused for a moment before turning away from the railing to face me. I noticed that his face seemed to hold moisture and I wondered if it could be from the waves breaking on the bough, surely it was impossible. I took in his face completely, and it was only then that I noticed a small tear beaded at the corner of his eye, and noticed that the moisture was in tracks down his face. He didn't even try to hide his emotions as my eyes met his.

Embarrassed I turned to leave, muttering apologies and excuses relating to Alice when he gently but firmly wrapped his hand around my wrist. I stared at his skin on mine and then looked up at his face as he spoke.

"Stay, please." His voice was the same smooth velvet but now it held an edge I had never heard before. And the warmth was back in his eyes, covered as it may be by tears and sorrow, it was still there. I would have felt elated that he was talking to me as he had before, but the tears and anguish in his eyes crushed any happiness I might have felt.

"We need to talk" he sighed and pulled me up beside him, turning so that he was facing out towards the sea but still keeping a gentle hold on my hand. I didn't pull away, not because it may have seemed rude, but because I didn't want to, because it felt right.

"I'm sorry" we both said at the same time, then laughed. He turned to me.

"You first, although I have no idea what you could have to apologize for" his thumb rubbed hesitant circles on the back of my hand as I explained.

"I wanted to apologize, I didn't mean to seem so depressed. And I'm sorry if I offended you yesterday, I…" I started rambling as he listened patiently and then I caught myself, sighing "I'm doing this all wrong" I looked down at my feet but my eyes got distracted by our linked hands, his warm in mine. I felt a finger under my chin as Edward gently forced me to look at him.

"Isabella." I jumped slightly when I realized he hadn't said my name since the day after I fainted.

"You are being absurd. You could never offend me." he smiled gently and I was caught in the beauty of him until he spoke again. I blushed.

"But I can understand easily why you thought you had. I haven't been very nice at all these past few days. And I'm sorry for that…" His smile grew wider as he noticed my blush.

"Why are you blushing?" he asked, still grinning, still holding my face in his soft hands.

"I-I'm not, it must be the wind making my cheeks red." I lied hastily.

He laughed quietly "Either way" he murmured "You look even more beautiful" I blushed and looked down as he seemed to realize what he had said and laughed nervously.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I couldn't help myself"

I looked up sharply, shocked at his assumptions.

"No! No. I don't mind at all. I like it." and then I blushed deeper as I realized how I must have sounded.

Before I could pull my eyes away from his face and examine the floor I caught sight of the elated look on his face and felt his hand tighten minutely. Not enough to hurt me but enough to hold me in place.

"You don't?" he asked gently, looking so deep into my eyes he seemed to be searching my very soul.

"I don't" I whispered, and I suddenly realized that one of his hands was on my waist and that we were stood perilously close together. I would normally have been offended at such close contact but with Edward I longed for it. The wind suddenly picked up and my hair splayed around my face, getting in the way. Edward swept it behind my ear and then placed his warm hand back on my frozen cheek.

He spread his fingers out so that he was cradling my face and I place my hand over his, gazing into the glorious depths of his emerald eyes. The air around us seemed to transform and sizzle with energy.

I had spent most of the afternoon looking for him and the sun was setting, throwing golden patterns at the sea and reflecting back at us. The golden sky behind him illuminated his features and made him look like an angel.

"Isabella" he murmured gently before leaning down slowly so that our lips were almost touching, giving me enough time to pull away. He studied my face for a moment and my breath caught. I closed my eyes as I closed the distance between us, he had seemed to be waiting for some sort of sign from me and, without really knowing what to do, I leaned forward. Our lips met in a sweet kiss and he pulled me closer. After a few moments he pulled back. Resting his forehead against mine and twining our fingers together as he held our hands up at shoulder level.

"Bella" I smiled slightly at the new nickname. He pecked me on the lips and sighed, pulling back. I felt his warm, sweet breath swirl across my skin and breathed in his scent, already hating the small distance between us.

"I didn't explain myself very well before did I?" He grinned at me and I grinned back, feeling elated and yet still more content than I had in my entire life.

"The reason I was so off with you was because of what I felt for you" I felt my heartbeat speed at his words as he leaned in closer and gently rubbed the apple of my cheek with his thumb.

"I wanted so much to insist that you rest after you fainted that day, I was so worried you might become ill, but I knew that if I showed too much concern it may be taken the wrong way" he sighed.

"Society won't let us be together Bella. The esteemed and the famous and every other shallow stuck-up socialite would frown upon the great son courting anyone that couldn't afford first class and luxury."

I should have felt offended, and was sure, had it been anyone else, that I would have. But the gentle look in Edward's eyes and the apologetic, slightly sarcastic tone of his voice made up for it.

"But I don't care about any of them Bella. Not if I get to spend time with you." He smiled gently, pulling my lips to his again. I kissed him back, thrilled by the sensation of his warm lips moving with mine.

He pulled away again

"Of course, I understand if you don't feel the same way" a look of sadness flickered in his eyes before he could cover it up. "I don't expect anything from you, Isabella."

I already missed my new nickname and I longed to dispel the illusion he seemed to be making of me, he pulled away from me slightly as he took my awed silence as rejection.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything" he stepped away from me "I didn't mean to make things awkward for you…"

I marveled at his consideration. Even when he thought he had just been rejected by his sisters companion he was worrying about how the situation would be for her.

He turned to leave but I stopped him suddenly by grabbing his face between my hands and crushing my lips to his, trying to make him understand. It was irrational and yet it made beautiful, perfect sense at the same time. He didn't hesitate for a second before kissing me back gently. The kiss was warm and tender. When I went to pull away he leaned down further and captured my lips with his, gently pulling me closer. He wrapped his arms around me before pulling back and then pecking me lightly on the lips again. He was breathing heavily.

"Breathe Bella" he whispered in my ear, before grinning at me. "I assume this means that you are not opposed to me being with you"

I read a double meaning in his words and was not sure how to respond, I simply nodded and he grinned at me, kissing me softly again, his joy translating through his lips and into his kiss.

"I've waited far too long to do that" he grinned.

I giggled softly "mhmmm" I agreed, pressing my lips to his.

This time it was my turn to pull away.

"But what will everyone think? What about your reputation?" I asked, sure that there were plenty other women much more beautiful, and richer than I was, that he could choose from. I was sure my eyes betrayed my reservations and sadness and he seemed to pick up on it.

"I don't care" He smiled down at me and then hugged me closer, I pulled myself closer to him, burying my head in his chest as he rested his chin on the top of my head. "Bella" he sighed into my hair, kissing the top of my head.

"As long as I'm with you I don't care either" I whispered back, relieved at finally being able to voice my feelings.

"Ahem" We both pulled apart quickly, despite our words, embarrassed that a stranger could have witnessed something so private. I whipped around to see Alice standing behind me.

"A-Alice" I stuttered just as Edward asked "How long have you been there".

"Long enough" She grinned as Edward took my hand firmly. "Don't let me interrupt anything, I just came to inform you that dinner is about to start in half an hour. And it would be awfully improper if we were to dine in the same clothes as we had at lunch" she winked at us and then turned to go back inside whilst calling over her shoulder "Don't keep her from me too long Edward".

I blushed and Edward turned back to me. "You look freezing. I'm sorry, I should have thought."

I shivered as I realized how cold it had gotten; to be honest I hadn't even noticed.

He took his overcoat off and placed it over my shoulders.

"Edward you'll freeze!" I exclaimed without thinking.

"I'll be fine, Bella. Besides it's only a short walk inside" I smiled up at him as he put his hand lightly on my lower back and guided me towards the entrance to the warmth.

"That was awfully improper of me, to kiss you in public. I'm very sorry Bella, I don't know what came over me" he smiled sheepishly.

"That's quite all right Edward, you're already forgiven" I grinned at him, in high spirits just for the fact that his hand was on my back.

When we got back to our rooms he stopped me in our living area.

"Just so that you are aware Bella, I don't mind being seen with you in public. Quite the opposite in fact; I want to be seen with you. But I understand if you want to wait until we are safely in New York before we tell anyone, I mean I…" I cut him off by placing my hand over his mouth; he was rambling and making assumptions again.

"I don't mind being with you, remember. I just don't want your reputation to be ruined." I sighed, wondering how we would sort out our predicament.

"As I said before: I don't care about my reputation" He leant down and just as his lips touched mine the main door swung open and Angela squeaked as she saw us together, apologizing profusely. As she was about to turn around Edward chuckled and called to her.

"Angela, don't worry about it. You were going to find out soon enough anyway" he smiled at her and she gave a timid smile back before shooting me a friendly yet curious look.


	6. Wait for me

I lay in bed, thinking over everything that had happened today. I was blissfully happy, but not unaware of the problems we were to face if Edward were to make our relationship public. I sighed, rolling over and glancing at the small clock that was illuminated by the small patch of moonlight. It was very early morning. I quietly slid out of bed and slid my coat on, deciding to calm myself by watching the waves from our own small private deck.

I padded over the plush thick carpet before attempting to open the doors to the decking, they were heavy and I couldn't even get them to budge.

"Would you like a hand?" The voice from behind me made me jump. I whirled around to find Edward standing behind me, a small smile on his weary face.

"Couldn't sleep" we both said at the same time, only his was more a question. We both laughed, trying to keep our voices down.

"Me neither, would you like me to open that for you?" he whispered, coming over to me and gently tugging to doors open with what looked like no effort at all. He caught me staring at him in disbelief and gave another quiet laugh.

"I'm not just a pretty face" he said sarcastically and I giggled. He looked ecstatic when I took his hand and weaved my fingers through his. He bought my hand up to his face and kissed my wrist before letting our hands drop and pulling me through into the cool night air. As we neared the railing Edward silently slipped his jacket onto my shoulders, as his fingers lingered on my shoulders I reached my hand up and held them there for a moment before I stepped up onto the first railing and gazed out at the ocean, reveling in the fresh air and the way the moonlight made the waves glitter.

"Beautiful" Edward whispered in my ear as I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my stomach from behind. I leaned back against him slightly and he kissed my ear. Even though I was standing on the railing he was still slightly taller than me. He rested his chin on my shoulder and whispered sweet things in my ear for an immeasurable amount of time that seemed to pass too quickly. He started slowly kissing down my neck and back up before I turned my head and my lips met his, he pulled me down off the railing, carefully keeping a tight hold on my waist, and without breaking the kiss swung me up into his arms and carried me inside before sitting on the nearest sofa and placing me across his lap. I pulled away when I realized where we were and gave him a curious look but before I could voice my question he answered for me.

"You were shivering" he whispered as he wrapped his warm arms around me and his warm breath caressed my face, making my head spin. I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes, content just to sit here in his arms until I fell asleep.

"Tell me, Bella" his voice interrupted my wondering and I looked up into his face to see an expression of extreme curiosity.

"Yes?"

"I don't mean to be rude but, why can you never sleep? No offense sweetheart, but you look exhausted"

My heart thrilled when he called me sweetheart and it took me a while to realize that I should answer his question.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to" he smiled what was soon becoming my favorite crooked smile.

"No, that's okay. I guess it's partly to do with worrying about Charlie. But I think the main reason is because I don't like traveling, I was terrified the first time I realized how big Titanic was. I know it's irrational and that nothing is going to happen, but I just can't help imagining all the things that could go wrong."

I looked away, not wanting to see the disgusted look on his face that my foolishness had surely caused. He gently turned my head to face him and cradled my face in his hands.

"You don't have to worry about any of that any more Bella. I swear I won't let anything happen to you. You're safe with me" I hugged him tighter and whispered "thank you" so quiet that I was surprised he heard.

"I care about you too much to ever let anything happen to you"

He started humming a comforting tune and I soon fell asleep.

14th April

I awoke in the morning in my own bed, not sure if it had been a dream or not until I noticed I was still wearing Edward's jacket. I flushed at the knowing look Angela gave me as I took it off in order to get ready for the day ahead. She grinned at me and I smiled back timidly, glad that she wasn't the jealous or gossiping type.

When I was ready I entered the main living area that joined all of our rooms together and found Alice sitting alone, reading the ships daily newsletter. Trying not to show my disappointment I gave a cheery good morning and went to sit on the sofa opposite her.

"Good morning, Bella. Sleep well?" I blushed again as she said my new nickname so casually and grinned at me knowingly.

"Yes, thank you" I mumbled "How was your night?"

"Good thank you" she replied politely before setting her paper down. "I just wanted to say that I am thrilled for you and Edward. I don't think he could have chosen a nicer girl." She smiled warmly at me and I smiled back, glad that she approved. "See, I told you we would be great friends" We both laughed.

Angela soon came out to us after finishing her few duties and we all sat discussing general topics of conversation, although I managed to refrain from inquiring as to Edwards whereabouts my curiosity must have been obvious.

"Edward has gone to get us breakfast, he should be back shortly."

A few minutes of content conversation later, Edward gracefully entered the room. His face seemed to light up as he caught sight of me and I felt my heartbeat pick up as he made his way over to sit extremely close beside me. He took my hand and I beamed at him, although I was distracted by Alice unsuccessfully trying to muffle a giggle.

We sat there for another half hour before a steward bought us an array of breakfast foods that could have fed an army, where we moved outside onto our private deck. I saw Edward smile at me as the steward opened the doors with great ease, and gave my hand a squeeze.

The day seemed to pass quickly; I was so caught up in the bliss of being with Edward that dinner seemed to come in no time at all. We had spent the day wandering around the ship, hand in hand, or sitting side by side in our living area, discussing all manner of things.

Before we went up to dinner Alice called me into her room and insisted that she style my hair as she wanted to try something different and see how it looked.

She swept two sections of hair that was at the front of my head towards the back and clasped it with a beautiful silver clasp, set with amethyst. I tried to tell her that the clasp was too much but she brushed it off and simply said that she was lending it to me if I didn't want to accept it as a gift. I was stunned by her generosity and sat in silence for the rest of the time she was styling my hair. Alice also chose my dress, it was a gorgeous deep purple satin, with black beads and silver embroidery, I felt expensive just looking at it. She had her own hair pinned up in elegant curls and wore a dark red dress with embroidery similar to mine.

When we entered into the main room between our cabins I had to catch my breath. Edward looked stunning in a black well tailored suit. He bent his head and kissed my hand before saying how, together, we made a more than beautiful sight. I blushed at the compliment as I took his arm.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that Alice had inconspicuously sat in my normal space, leaving me with the empty seat next to Edward. As soon as I sat down he grabbed my hand under the table and started tracing patterns on the back of my hand with his thumb. After dinner, when I was going to retire back to my room, as usual, he caught me up in his arms and started leading me towards the ballroom where he went straight into the dance. I giggled as we twirled around the room, as we had done just last week in the hotel back in Southampton. He held me a little closer after every dance and eventually he ended up with his head by my ear, whispering sweet things as he had the night before. I did not normally enjoy dancing but I decided that dancing with Edward would have to be my exception. We spent the rest of the evening dancing as the talented band played on.

When it became time to retire we followed Alice as she lead us down to our cabins, chattering excitedly, Edward would turn to me occasionally and roll his eyes or pull a face and I would try not to giggle, a few times Alice turned and shot us suspicious looks but didn't say anything.

She excused herself quickly and I lead Edward to our private deck as soon as her door was closed. He wrapped his arms around me without saying anything and we stood in silence for a while, looking up at the stars, until he leant down and kissed me tenderly. He gently placed his hands on my waist as I wound mine around his neck. He pulled back before leaning down to whisper in my ear.

"I love you" My heart gave an almost audible leap in my chest and I stared up into his serious gorgeous green eyes. He chuckled softly

"I know it makes no sense, we hardly even no each other, but still…what I feel for you, I've never felt for anyone before" he kissed me again and this time it was my turn to pull away.

"I love you too" I whispered and his lips came crashing back to mine, enthusiastic and warm. He started kissing down my neck and I held myself closer to him.

"Bella…" he whispered against my skin before pulling his face up to mine again, kissing me sweetly on the lips.

"When we get to New York, I'd like it if you would come and stay with me and my family for a while"

He smiled gently, "would you like to? I know Alice would enjoy it as well".

I stared up at him, his smile still having the power to make me breathless, "Really?" I wondered how his family would react and if they would all be as kind and considerate as Edward and Alice were.

"Really" he leaned down and captured my lips again.

"I'd love to" I managed to whisper in between his kisses.

He smiled my favorite breathtaking crooked smile before hugging me to him tightly. I reveled in the warmth and the love that was radiating from him. It was perfect.

The stars were the only light in the sky as the moon was obscured by clouds.

He leant down to kiss me again but before our lips met the ship gave an awful shudder. I grabbed onto his arms tightly and looked fearfully up into his face.

"What was that?" I asked, my voice broken in panic.

"Shhh, Bella, It's okay. I'm here, don't worry" Edward, sensing my panic tried to comfort me as he stroked relaxing circles on my back.

"What happened?" I asked again in a small voice.

"I'll go find out" he turned to leave but I held onto his cuff, afraid to let him out of my sight. He felt my resistance and turned back to me, wrapping me into a gentle reassuring hug and pressing his cheek against the top of my head.

He pulled away and kissed me on the hand.

"It's okay, I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere, wait here for me"

"Hurry back to me" I whispered to him.

"Always" he whispered back before quickly pressing his lips to my forehead "don't go anywhere" he emphasized and disappeared out of the door.

I went and sat down on the sofa, pulling my coat tightly around me as I couldn't close the outside doors and it was a chilly night. I looked up at the sound of doors being opened as both Alice and Angela came out of their rooms, still wearing their evening dresses despite the late hour.

"What was that?" Alice asked me, not unkindly. "It's almost midnight"

We sat discussing what could be the possible reason for the jolt and heard a commotion in the corridor. Alice went to the door to see what was wrong and found that the passengers in the suite next to us were complaining about the sudden jolt and demanding someone to come and clean up the spilt tea.

Alice returned to sit with us, mumbling about how something serious could be happening and all people cared about was their tea.

I was about to suggest they go back to bed as it was half past midnight that I would wake them if there was news when there was a hurried knock at the door, I opened it to find a haggard looking steward.

"I've been instructed to ask you to put on your warmest clothes and report to the boat deck please Miss. I know it's an inconvenience but do not to worry, I'm sure its just a precaution."

I almost believed that it was 'just a precaution' until I saw the terrified look in his eyes.

I turned to tell Alice and Angela the news when I realized they had come to the door behind me.

"I think it's serious" I whispered

"I don't believe them" Angela piped up, "The look on his face was enough to tell me that this is not just a precaution, we should get up on deck"

Alice nodded and was about to head into her room when I spoke.

"What about Edward?"  
She turned to me, hugging me gently

"Don't worry about him, he can take care of himself, we'll probably see him up there later" it seemed as though she were trying to convince herself as much as me.

I wrapped up in my warmest coat and wrapped my thickest scarf around my neck, Angela and I walked out to meet Alice where she was waiting for us in the main room.

"Come on" she took us both by the hands and started leading us towards the door.

"Alice" I managed to choke out. "I- I'm waiting for Edward, he might come back to the room and…"

"Bella, we have to go" Angela interrupted me "we can meet up with Edward later"

"But he said to wait for him…I'm not just leaving him"

"Isabella" Alice protested "my brother has already asked me to look after you no matter what happens. And I am not about to break that promise. He wouldn't want you putting yourself in danger by waiting for him, so please..." She gave my hand a little tug "make this easier for us all"

I was stunned, Edward had asked her to take care of me. Surely he didn't know that anything like this would happen. Alice towed us down the corridors, now lined with people milling around and slowly making their way up to the top deck. As I walked up the grand staircase I saw a couple, not much older than Edward and I, holding hands tightly, as he led her to the lifeboats. I tried to inconspicuously loosen my hand from Alice's and when her and Angela were both preoccupied by a steward supplying them with lifebelts I tugged my hand free and sprinted back down the corridor, intent on finding Edward. If something was happening I wanted to be with him, no matter what.

"Bella?" Alice cried as I let go of her hand "Isabella!" I carried on running, ignoring their attempts at calling me back.


	7. Promises kept and hearts broken

I sprinted down corridor after corridor and as I ran I heard a clock chime. One o'clock in the morning and I was running around a supposedly sinking ship looking for Edward. I almost laughed.

I made my way back to our room but after waiting there for a few minutes I was soon impatient. I knew it made no sense to run around looking for Edward if he was doing the same for me and that I should just stay in the same place but I was restless.

The lights started to flicker and all I could hear was the groaning of the ship, the walls seemed to be getting closer and closer to me; pressing in on me and I was finding it hard to breathe. I suddenly realized why my ears had felt hollow. The engines had stopped. Of course they had not been operating for some time but I had been preoccupied before.

I had wasted what seemed like days looking below deck and I had noticed that the corridors were slowly becoming less and less crowded as everyone made their way up to the boat deck. I shuddered when I realized that I might be the last person left below decks. Would all the boats go without me? Fighting against my rising sense of panic I turned to go back towards first class accommodations. I would check there quickly and then go up on deck and try to find Alice.

I was making my way back to first class accommodations when I heard a voice shout my name from behind me.

I saw relief flood Edwards face as I turned around, as soon as I saw his face I sprinted towards him. Rather than waiting for me to reach him Edward ran flat out towards me down the rest of the corridor until he could reach my outstretched arm and pull me to him. I threw my arms around him and almost cried with relief.

"Don't you _ever _do that to me Bella, I was so worried." He said fiercely, his voice would have sounded angry had it not been so desperate, as he kissed me on the forehead. "I was so worried" He hugged me to him and I whispered.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I had to find you. To make sure you were safe. I'm sorry"

He let out a half chocked attempt at a laugh but stopped when he seemed to realize how it sounded.

"I love you" I whispered, desperate to remind him how I felt. He looked down into my eyes in awe and then kissed me. The kiss was desperate and had an edge to it that scared me. He pulled away suddenly.

"Bella, why aren't you wearing a lifebelt?" I looked down and realized that I had rushed off before the stewards could give me one. I was about to tell him this when he started undoing his.

"No, Edward! You need yours, I'll just get anoth…" whilst I was speaking he slipped it carefully over my head, fastening it tightly and then gave me another too desperate kiss before grabbing my hand and leading me quickly away.

"Come on Bella! We have to get back to Alice and Angela and get you on a lifeboat. I told them that we would follow but they wouldn't go without you"

He looked down at me as we emerged out onto the deck and I took in a huge gulp of fresh air. It was an endless sea of people, crushed together and many panicking.

"Edward, where are the lifeboats? Where did you last see Alice, Edward?" I could hear the panic in my own voice and Edward, sensing that I was about to loose it, turned to me and held my face securely between his hands.

"Listen to me Bella. Okay? I need you to do something for me; I need you to stay calm. Alright? I promise you I will get you off this ship. No matter what I'm going to make sure that you're safe"

I stared up into his tortured eyes and didn't need any explanation to the emotions I was seeing; he was just as afraid as I was.

"I also need you to promise me something" he continued as I tried to control my breathing. "I need you to promise me that no matter what you will get off this ship"

"Edward I can't…" he interrupted me.

"Please" I couldn't ignore the desperation in his voice. "Please, Bella"

"Alright I promise, but I'm not going anywhere without you"

He didn't reply, he just kissed me on the forehead and started making his way through the crowd, pulling me by the hand to where I could now see Alice and Angela standing.

Alice threw her arms around us as soon as we were close.

"I was so worried, I'm so glad you're both okay!" she exclaimed hugging me before quickly letting me go. "Come on, we have to get to a lifeboat"

Edward and I never loosened our hold on each others hands. There was the ever present call of women and children first and I wondered why it was necessary if all the lifeboats were going to be filled anyway. I could faintly hear the band playing something cheerful in the background. All around me were people standing and talking to one another, complaining about the cold in fake voices and wondering when we would be allowed back to the rooms when it was obvious the owners knew it would never happen. Before there had been no sense of urgency and had I not seen the fear in Edwards eyes or noticed the slight list of the ship I would probably have reacted the same as them. But now everyone was panicking. I heard gunshots and my already frayed nerves were almost in shreds, I wondered how anyone would survive. It still seemed impossible that the great Titanic could have any need for lifeboats but there was no denying that the titanic was sinking.

Edward pulled me after him towards the lifeboats and I grabbed hold of Alice's hand and she did the same to Angela behind her so that we would not get separated. Alice met my gaze with a look of undisguised terror and squeezed my hand as I squeezed hers. I suddenly thought back, despite the apparent danger, to when we had first boarded the titanic, arms linked and smiling. It seemed like a different life time.

When we got to the lifeboats we soon discovered that most of the ones on this side had already been launched. I jumped as a distress rocket was fired and Edward squeezed my hand reassuringly before letting go to help us into the lifeboat, avoiding my eyes. I looked around me as Edward helped Alice and Angela into the lifeboat; there seemed to be hardly any women and children left. Mostly men, who were all waiting behind an invisible line, none of them stepping forward to take their place in any of the boats. I wondered where the other lifeboats were and how all these brave men could possibly fit into them. Even boys were being turned away and I marvelled at their courage, at how these teenage sons stepped away from their mothers and sisters and went to stand calmly by their fathers sides.

I saw tearful goodbyes on either side of me as Edward helped me into the lifeboat, whispering a quick "I love you" in my ear.

I turned around and sat facing the ship, now perilously low in the water, expecting to see Edward following me into the almost full lifeboat. I saw Edward back away with a small smile that did not reach his burning eyes, to go and stand with the other men. And then I realized that there were no other lifeboats. Alice and Angela next to me seemed to realize at the same time because they started protesting. I tried to get back out of the lifeboat and go and join Edward, but the stewards held me down, seeming to know my thoughts.

"Edward" I choked out, pleading. He just shook his head sadly. The sailors were asking the men to step away from the side and let women and children through. Edward stayed where he was until he looked me in the eyes. My tears seemed to break his reserve and he stepped forward and quickly wrapped his arms around me in a hug that could never have lasted long enough, kissing me softly on the forehead. "I love you, Isabella." He whispered in my ear, he pulled his head back and held my face in his hands, wiping my tears that I hadn't even known were falling.

"take care of yourself" he kissed me quickly on the lips before pulling away so quickly that I had no time to tighten my hold on him. All around me similar goodbyes were going on and other women were being forced into the boat beside me.

"No! Edward! Get in the boat!" I tried getting up again but the officer in charge of the boat stood in my way.

"Take your seat please miss."

"No! Edward, please, you can't leave me! Edward, don't!" it was almost impossible to understand what I was saying through my sobs.

"I'll be okay" he gave me a weak smile at his obvious lie, knowing I didn't believe him. Standing nearer than any of the others to the boat, but still not close enough for me to reach.

"Don't worry about me, sweetheart, I'll be fine" I stared up at him, wondering how he could possibly expect me to believe his lies. My eyes met his and I saw the pain and love there. As the calls of 'lower away' were put into action I never took my eyes off Edward.

"Edward…please…Edward, I love you" I sobbed, my heart breaking as I saw him smile sadly as I was forced into my seat and knew he must have read the words on my lips because his small smile never faltered. I felt Alice take my hand and only then did I notice that the tears were streaming down her face as well. When we were half way towards the water I noticed a few of the other men come to the edge of the ship, but I only had eyes for one of them. Edward's smile faltered as I drew closer to the water and I saw the sparkle of his tears as he turned away. I prayed he was turning away to find another lifeboat, but knew that the probability of him surviving was very small. I buried my head in Alice's shoulder and wept as she held me, I felt her own tears and tried to compose myself.

I stared at the beautiful stricken ship through bleary eyes, only noticing now that I was a significant distance away that the bow was submerged in water. I couldn't take any of it in, all I could think about was Edward. The past week of my life played before my eyes, reminding me of all the times I had spent with him, but no more tears came, I was frozen in grief and shock. I was vaguely aware of someone speaking in my ear but they obviously gave up when I didn't respond.

We just sat, silent as the rest of the passengers, trying to take in the horrific scene before us. The stern of the great ship was starting to rise out of the water as the bow took on more water. We all watched in silence, for once no-one caring that the air was below freezing or that the classes were mixed together, as the bow of the Titanic was completely submerged beneath the flat sea and the stern raised into the air. Hundreds of people were still clinging to anything attached to the ship. The lights blinked once, and then we were plunged into the unforgiving darkness of the sea. There was a great crushing sound, as the silhouette against the night sky broke in two and the bow plunged into the sea. The stern stayed floating on the flat sea before raising up again and being dragged under the waves with a horrendous roar. And then we could hear the screaming. The hundreds of men and women left to perish in the freezing seas. Many of the women aboard our tiny boat pleaded to go back and look for survivors but were told no as they would surely swamp us. I would normally have been shocked by how heartless the officer was and protested but I was too numb to feel anything other than the pain at being forced to leave Edward. I tried to block out the screams, trying to tell myself that one of them would not be Edward, that he would be safe aboard one of the other life boats.

Two lifeboats rowed over to us and all the women and children were transferred to one boat so that another could go back to look for other survivors. Survivors, I wondered at the word; it didn't feel like I had survived, not when so many others had perished and my heart was missing.


	8. Surviving

Eventually the cries died out but the icy waters lapped against us as our small boat drifted aimlessly for what seemed like days but I was told was only mere hours.

I sat, frozen against Alice's shoulder throughout that longest of nights, as the sun came up and displayed to us the wreckage. Luckily we couldn't see much as we had drifted during the night. In the early hours of the morning a few of the other survivors said they spotted a ship on the horizon, but I was so wrapped up in my grief that I couldn't register any hope of relief. Outlined against the crimson sky was our beacon of hope, the Caparthia.

Only when the Carpathia stopped to let us row towards them, did I start to realize that our ordeal was over. Alice rubbed comforting circles in my hand. I had stopped crying hours ago when my body simply couldn't take anymore of the cold. Everything was a blur; being helped aboard, wrapped in blankets and given a warm drink before being led inside and given a medical examination. I was vaguely aware of passengers giving me mystified and pitying looks and that Alice or Angela never left me on my own.

We were eventually led down to a small cabin with a warm bath waiting for us. They both took turns getting clean whilst I merely sat on the bed that some passenger on the Caparthia had given up for me. _"One of the lucky Titanic survivors"_ I had heard someone say. Only I didn't feel lucky, I felt as though someone had ripped my heart out and plunged it into the icy water, still beating as Edward and all those other brave men, stayed aboard the Titanic to calmly meet there doom. After Alice and Angela seemed to realize that I wasn't in the mood for a bath Alice started insisting that Angela take the other bed, and that she would take the floor. I was too wrapped up in thinking of Edward, how he would hold me, how his warm hand had felt in mine, how he whispered sweet things in my ear, that it took me a while to realize I was sat on the other bed. I jumped up quickly and both Angela and Alice turned to face me.

"Bella?" I cringed as Edward's nickname for me tore the whole in my chest wider.

"I-" my voice chocked off and I had to start again. "You two can have the beds"

Alice looked relieved that I had spoken for the first time since the Titanic disappeared beneath the waves, but automatically started arguing that I needed the bed more than her.

I turned to her, feeling hollow, and said a little more harshly than I should have.

"Do you honestly think I could sleep, Alice?" Angela winced and I saw the sadness in Alice's eyes.

"No. I'm sorry, Isabella"


	9. Hope

16h April

Nothing had any meaning anymore. I felt empty. I had no appetite nor any desires or impulses anymore. It was as though a world which had been brightly lit before, the colours becoming more vivid when I had met Edward, had been bleached a cold grey. Not even black and white, everything was just a varying degree of the same bland colour. And I mourned the loss of life and vibrance that the world used to hold. Alice and Angela had stopped calling me Bella after they had seen my reaction to it the first time, which I was grateful for, as everything reminded me of Edward as it was. I was surprised I could feel gratitude at all after what had just happened to me. The pain of Edward staying behind had left me numb and I wondered how Alice could bear to do anything.

Everywhere I went there were kind words and pitying looks from the Caparthia passengers, but none of this helped me to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was Edwards heartbroken face, tears running down his cheeks as he turned away. That night played over and over in my mind as though someone had sped it up, but the one part I wanted to forget the most was burned into my memory. Although I knew in my heart I would never truly want to forget my last minutes with Edward.

Alice had eagerly checked all of the survivors lists, not just first class, in case of mistake, but there was no record of Edward. And with that my last piece of hope had crumbled away. That was when the tears had finally started. I had been almost numb before but now the full weight of my loss came crushing down on me. I would never see Edward again, never feel his warm hand, comforting in mine, never hear his deep velvet laughter, never see his crooked smile or curious emerald eyes. The tears stopped eventually but when they left there was none of the numbness I had felt before, just pure unadulterated agony.

I hadn't washed or eaten since the disaster. It wasn't that I wanted to punish myself for surviving when so many others hadn't, although I certainly felt like I should. It was because there didn't seem any meaning to anything. What was the point in brushing my hair if Edward wasn't there to run his hands through it? Why would I want to eat if I wasn't hungry?

So many brave and noble people had lost their lives, so many brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, friends and family would never see their loved ones again. I felt a strange hollow feeling in my chest, it was the grief for so many people, both known and unknown, who had perished in the freezing waters. My tears had lasted hours that first night, when the enormity of the disaster had finally caught up to me and the shock had worn off. I wondered if I would ever be able to sleep again. The past two days had been full of nothing but wishing and hoping and grieving. I, not surprisingly, couldn't sleep; every time I shut my eyes those dreadful last hours played out behind my closed lids. I found that late at night, when Alice and Angela were lost in almost peaceful dreams, I could numb the pain somewhat, by walking up on the frozen deck. I usually didn't encounter anyone but if I did we would both know the reasons for our wondering and no-one ever spoke to me nor I to them. The only possible reason someone else would be out that late would be the same as mine.

I was leaning against the rail, staring at the sea and dreaming wistfully of happier times, when I heard footsteps behind me. I didn't turn, not caring if I seemed rude, I was tired of keeping up pretences.

"Isabella?" Alice asked softly, her voice held an edge of something I hadn't heard since we had checked the survivor lists, hope, maybe.

I turned silently to her and she embraced me when she saw my tears.

"I came to tell you, I was down at the hospital, going to get some tablets for Angela's seasickness, when I heard them discussing a patient they had recovered from one of the lifeboats. They said he had been in the water so long they thought it was too late, but he was picked up by one of the lifeboats that went back for survivors." I wondered why she was telling me all this if it wouldn't help me hurt less and it wouldn't bring Edward back.

Seeming to sense my reluctance to talk she continued in a hurried voice.

"I was curious as to whether I would know this miraculous survivor, so I went to visit him. I had heard the doctors saying his name hadn't been taken because he was unconscious with hypothermia when they bought him in" she took in a deep breath.

"It's Edward, Isabella! Edward's alive! He's okay!" I froze.

"What?"

"I know! I thought it was impossible myself until I saw him. But he hasn't been allowed out of bed. He asked me to come and find you straight away."

I felt faint so I gripped the side of the rail. If what she was saying was true I had to find him. And why would Alice lie? She wasn't cruel, and she wouldn't make anything like that up about her own brother. But I just couldn't believe it, it just wasn't possible.

"what?" I asked again in a small voice.

"Isabella, are you alright"

"Alice…why" my voice choked off again.

Alice misinterpreted my question.

"I told you he was a fighter" and then she smiled.

"Your serious?" I asked, but I knew my answer and I took off as fast as I could towards the nearest staircase without waiting for a reply. Her face had been enough to tell me everything I needed to know.

"Bella?" she called after me "You don't know where you're going"

"I think I can remember!" I shouted back, not even slowing down. I had been to the infirmary only once before, and that was when I had the examination to give me the all clear on that bleak, endless morning.

I sprinted down the stairs and fell through the infirmary door. "Edward Cullen." I managed to gasp at the startled nurse who had seen my entrance.

"Please, where are the Titanic survivors?"

She seemed to sense the desperation in my voice and looked at me sadly.

"I'm sorry." Her voice had a thick accent, something I couldn't place, and her English was broken.

"They aren't with us anymore, the last one, he is gone"

I stared at her in shock. After all I had been through this was the last straw and I felt as though my already non-existent heart was shattering into a million pieces, piercing my lungs so that I couldn't breathe. Surely his condition couldn't have deteriorated that much since Alice had left to find me. She had seemed so thrilled and implied that Edward was alive and well, not on the verge of death.

I felt my tears well over and I managed to mumble a thank you to the shocked nurse, who took a step after me before hesitating. I retreated back to the small cabin Alice, Angela and I now shared without a backward glance, fighting to keep myself together until I was in the privacy of the cabin. The tears flowed down my cheeks as I lay on the bed and sobbed. When no more tears would come I composed myself before going up on deck to find Alice again. It was surprisingly hard to find a reserve of strength to stop my sobs, I had thought I had come to terms with Edwards death but I realized now that I would never truly be able to get over it, how suddenly he had been taken away. Despite only having known each other for a week at most, I couldn't help feeling that Edward and I had something special, it felt as though I had known him all my life and yet it still wasn't enough. Although I was still struck through with grief it was the loss of the fresh hope that affected me the worst, as I had already given up hope on ever seeing my love again. The wind stung my face as I entered into the cool air and looked around me to see if I could spot either of them. I contemplated throwing myself to the unforgiving waves, as I had considered before, but there were two reasons why I couldn't bring myself to do it. The first was that Charlie needed me, he had no one else, and I didn't know how my death would affect him.

The second was Edward; the last thing he had asked of me was that I take care of myself, and I was going to do my best to follow his wishes.

But the prospect of a life without Edward, even though I knew our relationship would have been forever doomed by the rules of society, stretched out before me, as grey and unappealing as the sea before me. It was cold and empty, full of important things like friends and family that disappeared without Edward there to show how wonderful life and love could be.


	10. Love and explanations

Once I was sure they were not outside I checked the main rooms and found them in a very comfortable living area, both seated in a plush armchair each, small smiles lighting up their faces. I wondered briefly why Alice had not tried to return to Edward. For she had obviously not found out the fate of her brother.

"Bella?" Angela stood up quickly to embrace me as she took in my tearstained and broken appearance. "Whatever is the matter?" she hugged me to her as I managed to mumble incoherent sentences through my tears, trying to explain to her about loosing Edward for the second time.

She let go of me quickly and sat down, and was about to pull me with her when I heard someone shout my name. I whipped around automatically at the sound of a voice Id had memorized since my first day in Southampton.

"Bella!" Edward ran towards me dodging past shocked bystanders in the process.

"Edward?" I froze, not believing it was truly him. My personal angel couldn't possibly be here. Or maybe he was a demon, sent to remind me of what I had lost and could never have. I didn't care, I would take either. His face lit up in a breathtaking smile, his normally only slightly out of place hair a mess of auburn on top of his head, sticking up at every angle. His eyes were rimmed with bruise like purple, but they shone like emeralds. And then I knew it was really him.

"Edward!?!" I almost shouted his name this time almost believing it was him. He was still pushing his way through the crowds of motionless people who had stopped to watch at the sound of our shouting.

I started running towards him, stumbling because of the tears now clouding my vision. My foot caught on something I couldn't see and I fell, Edwards arms encircling me before I could hit the floor. He pulled me up into a tighter hug and I stained to pull myself closer to him, locking my arms around his neck. I knew he wasn't a part of my imagination gone awry just by his perfectness. Nothing I could dream up would ever compare and I could recognise him by smell alone.

"Bella, Bella, Bella" he repeatedly sighed my name, almost sobbing, pulling me closer and kissing my neck as I buried my face in his shoulder.

"Edward" My breathing was ragged and my voice was weak but I couldn't stop saying his name. We were both sobbing as he set me down gently, not letting go of my waist, and held me to him tightly, his tears mixing with mine as I crushed him to me, not wanting to let go in case this all turned out to be a dream.

"I'm here, Bella. It's okay, I'm alright" his reassurances sounded as though they were meant more for him than me but the sound of his voice soothed me.

As his strong arms wound around me, for the first time in days I felt truly whole, he crushed me tighter to him before pulling one of his arms away. He put his soft, warm hand against my cheek and looked me directly in the eyes as I cradled his face in my own hands.

"I-I…" I was shaking with my tears as he kissed me. In front of the whole room of onlookers who had stopped to watch as we shouted each others names. I kissed him back passionately before pulling away so that I could look into his eyes. I stroked every plane of his face, urgently trying to memorise him in case he slipped away from me again.

"I" he interrupted himself by kissing me passionately on the lips and then drew away "I love" he couldn't seem to finish his own sentence without kissing me .

"I love you" he breathed against my lips, so that only I could hear it as he kissed me tenderly.

"I love you too" I choked out as his lips found mine again, enthusiastic and willing and I twined my fingers around his neck.

"What happened?" I broke away "You left me…I- Why didn't you get in the boat? E- Edward…I-I thought I'd never see you again, I thought…I thought…" I was sobbing again as he pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms around my back.

"Shhh, hush Bella. Sweetheart, it's okay. It's alright, I'm here now. I'll never leave you again." He whispered to me as my tears dried, hugging me to him and kissing the top of my hair.

I pulled away to see Edward looking down at me tenderly.

"I love you" I whispered again and I kissed him. He kissed me back before pulling away, chuckling, his eyes bright with love and warmth.

"I think we have an audience, love" I turned my head without letting go of him and blushed as I realized the whole room was stood staring at us.

I buried my head in his chest as they started applauding.

"Don't worry" He leant down to whisper in my ear "I don't care as long as I'm with you"

I smiled up at him through bleary eyes, ecstatic that we were together again.

"As long as I'm with you, I don't care either." I repeated the words I had first said to him on the bow of the Titanic and he kissed me.

Edward never let go of me. After we had excused ourselves from Alice's presence he had wrapped his arms tightly around me, as though he was afraid we would be separated again.

We came to an even smaller cabin than the one Angela, Alice and I had been sharing and he opened the door, explaining that he was on his own whilst he "recovered".

He sat down on the small bed and pulled me onto his lap, cradling my face comfortingly between his shoulder and his hand. He kept leaning down to kiss me when I least expected it, as would I, and every time I felt that my heart would leap out of my chest.

"Sweetheart, what happened to you?" He mumbled to me, kissing me softly below the ear he had whispered in.

"What?" I looked up at him and he stroked my cheek softly before leaning down and kissing me, as he went to pull away I leaned further towards him, not wanting the kiss to end. I couldn't get enough of him. He chuckled against my lips, his warm, sweet, familiar breath washing over my face.

"No offence darling, but you look a fright" he grinned at me to soften the insult but I could see the worry deep in his eyes. "So what happened?"

"Before or after I thought I'd lost you?" I meant the statement to sound brave but my voice was small and broke near the end.

"Bella…" his voice sounded broken and full of anguish "Sweetheart…" He pulled me closer as I sobbed into his shoulder. It was completely irrational, especially now that he was safely here with me, but now that I had started crying I found I couldn't stop.

"I'm okay" I whispered as he hugged me closer to him, resting his cheek on the top of my head "I love you, I'm okay". He was silent for a few moments as my tears dried.

"Really though Bella, I asked you to look after yourself. And I'm sorry honey but you don't seem to be doing a very good job" the sweet names he called me and his eyes shining with nothing but love and concern softened what could have been an insult if it had been uttered from any other lips but Edwards. I suddenly realized that I really must look awful. He picked me up and carried me over to the mirror, setting me down on my feet before wrapping his arms around me, pressing my back against his chest.

I stared at the stranger in the mirror. Her simple dress was crumpled although it appeared relatively clean, her face was tear streaked and there were deep purple hollows under her eyes. Her hair was tangled and looked as though it hadn't been brushed in days.

I only recognised the stranger as myself when Edward leant down to kiss my collar bone and I blushed.

"Don't fret though sweetheart, you always look beautiful." And he rested his chin on my shoulder.

I turned around quickly and he stared down into my eyes, gently stroking my hair, my face, my waist. I inhaled deeply and let his familiar scent wash over me, smoothing my frayed nerves and soothing my frantic soul.

"Come on love, lets get you cleaned up" he gently pulled me to where Alice was waiting for me in our room. His lips lingered as he kissed me on the cheek and then pulled away, dropping my hand. I felt the loss instantly and made a grab for him. He looked at me confused.

"Don't go." I pleaded.

"Bella, honey. You've got to get cleaned up" his strong arms enveloped me in a tight hug and I twined my hands in his shirt collar before he let me go again. I pulled myself up onto my toes and kissed him desperately, he kissed me back before Alice cleared her throat and pulled me away from Edward.

"Come and find me when you're done, I'll be in my room"

Alice grinned at me before helping me out of my dress and then leaving me to my thoughts.

A considerable amount of time later, I was clean and clad in a comfortable plain dress. I let my hair fall softly down my back, as I was in too much of a hurry to get back to Edward to do anything with it. I felt more relaxed after my bath than I had in days, despite the fact that it had meant I had an uninterrupted stretch of time to think things through. I was still flying with the joy of our reunion but I couldn't help wondering how long it would last, how long it would be until someone else caught Edwards eye and he realized just how plain I was. It wasn't that I didn't believe him when he told me he loved me, it was plain in his eyes that he believed that he did, I just didn't think he knew what he was feeling. As he himself had said before, he'd never felt like this about anyone, and the situation had been the same for me. Of course now I knew it must be love, Edwards supposed death had shown me I didn't want to live without him. But what about in the meantime, whilst he still thought he wanted to be with me, would I seem too clingy? I didn't want to think that Alice would think ill of me for wanting to be with her brother every waking moment but I couldn't help questioning what everyone else's opinions would be.

I emerged out into the corridor deep in thought and was about to turn left down the corridor towards Edwards room when a strong pair of arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me sideways. I stumbled and my back hit the wall gently as Edward put his arms on either side of my head to cage me in.

"Edward?" I exhaled against his lips, which were floating dangerously close to mine.

"Bella." He whispered before brining his soft lips to mine. His kiss was pure joy and unbridled enthusiasm as he pinned me up against the wall with his body. I wound my fingers in his hair in an attempt to pull him closer.

When he pulled away we were both gasping and he swallowed loudly before he spoke.

"I missed you" he whispered.

I laughed, something I had thought I would never experience again. "I missed you too" his favourite crooked smile lit up his weary face and I was reminded of all my unanswered questions that had been forgotten in the delirious joy of us just being together again.

"Edward, how…" seeming to know where I was going he placed his hand over my mouth and looked me deep in the eyes, seeming to look for his own answers.

"I'll explain everything. Lets go back to the room" he wound his arm around my waist and pulled me close to his side.

As we walked back to his room I revelled in the feelings of pure joy that Edwards arm around me made.

I sat down next to him on the bed and curled up into his side. We sat for hours, talking things through and getting the answers we both needed. My eyelids seemed to become heavier by the second.

"Bella" Edward whispered against my ear "time for bed, I think" he got up and laid me down on his bed before kissing me gently on the forehead and going to move away.

"What?" I asked, suddenly panicked. "No Edward, please…" I grabbed his hand and he sat on the bed beside me, looking deep into my eyes.

"Don't leave me" I whispered, pulling his hand up to my lips and kissing his palm.

"Bella…I should go" he sounded uncertain and his eyes betrayed his conflicting emotions.

"Please" I whispered again, pulling him down onto the bed beside me and curling up against his chest. "I need you here"

I buried my head in his chest, still slightly uncomfortable at voicing my feelings, despite all we had been through.

He placed one warm finger under my chin and gently coaxed my face up so that it was angled towards his. He didn't speak until I met his gaze.

"I need to be here" he told me, complete honesty burning in his eyes as he brushed his lips against mine before wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his cheek against my head. "never be afraid to tell me anything Bella, especially what you're feeling".

"mhmm" I agreed against his chest and I felt him chuckle.

I quickly dozed off, and was vaguely aware of Edwards comforting warm arms around me as I drifted into unconsciousness.


	11. Future

17th April

I woke up screaming his name in between sobs, panicking when my unconsciously searching hands found the sheets empty and the bed was cold. Afraid that it had all been a dream and that I was left alone again. Edward was immediately by my side, I sat up and threw my arms around him as he pulled me against his chest.

"Bella" he breathed as I relaxed. "I'm here"

"I know" I said, suddenly realizing how much I had overreacted. "I'm sorry"

"Its okay, there's no need to apologize" he kissed me carefully on the forehead before pulling away. "Are you sure you are alright though? You've been crying all night, sometimes even when I was holding you." I could see past his careful façade and knew that it was affecting him more than he was showing. I leant back against the headboard as he stroked my cheek with the back of his hand, so softly I could barely feel it.

"I'm fine. I guess I just needed to get it all out of my system" I gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry I put you through that though"

"It's perfectly fine Bella, as long as you need me, I'll be here" he kissed me on the forehead before twining our hands together.

"I shall leave you to get ready" he smiled softly at me, "Alice moved your borrowed clothes over here earlier this morning"

My deliriously happy mood was swiftly ruined as I remembered why we were in this small cabin and why I needed to borrow clothes. I instantly felt guilty; so many people had died, so many had lost their loved ones that it felt wrong to be happy. But with Edward back I couldn't help myself.

"Alice was here?" I asked as I swung my legs over the edge of the small bed.

"Yes, she says she's glad you're feeling better" he gave me a grim smile before turning to leave. "I'll be out here waiting, let me know when you're done".

After I had brushed my hair, (I didn't change my dress as it was the only clean one I had left, my other borrowed garments were undergarments and a nightdress) I opened the door to find Edward waiting for me, smiling contently. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything my stomach interrupted with a fierce growl. I hadn't noticed how hungry I was until I heard my stomach and I was suddenly ravenous.

"Bella, when was the last time you ate?" Edwards voice was concerned and I looked at the floor, suddenly embarrassed at my own foolishness.

"I'm not sure"

Edward looked at my disapprovingly as he squeezed my hand. "Let's get some food in you then" he started towing me towards the dining area whilst complaining that Alice hadn't done a very good job of looking after me. I automatically stood up for her and told him how I hadn't been the only one grieving for him and he apologized before letting the subject drop.

After we had both eaten we spent the rest of the day sat together on one of the plush sofas in a cosy area with numerous tables and chairs. Alice and Angela joined us after a while and we all talked about unimportant things and just revelled in everyone being together again.

April 18th

I stood on the sodden deck of the Caparthia, watching in awe as we passed the statue of liberty. I was warm and content wrapped in Edwards arms and our shared. It was almost 9 O'clock and the rain fell from the starless coal black sky as we neared New York. Despite all we had been through we were finally in America. We were not the only ones up on deck, but as the ship docked amidst a raging storm, the whole of the ship seemed to become silent. Not just the engines but the passengers also.

We were among the last of the Titanic survivors to depart from the boat, dishevelled clothes and empty faces, Alice, Angela, Edward and I all but fell into the car waiting for us, after forcing our way through the remaining press; all clamouring for our tale of the sinking of the great Titanic.


	12. Inconvenience

We reached the hotel where the Cullen's were to be staying and our lack of luggage, which would normally have been met with curios eyes was ignored, no doubt due to our appearance and the fact that everyone knew of the Caparthia's extra passengers.

When we entered the lobby Edward quickly set about changing our room arrangements making sure that we could share a room and that Alice and Angela both had a room each. I was so exhausted that I didn't pay attention to anything until Edward took my hand again and almost dragged me to the elevators, as I was so tired I couldn't even concentrate on walking straight.

It made no sense, of course, for me to feel this way. I had slept soundly for the past two nights with Edward by my side, always the perfect gentleman, and should not have felt so tired. However my relief to be on dry land once again and my secret fears had taken a lot of energy out of me.

I had told only Edward of how I treasured every minute with him and he put it down to the believable excuse that I had almost lost him. I was, however, terrified of losing him in another way entirely. Afraid that as soon as we were on dry land he would call and end to our relationship, or that as soon as he saw his brothers fiancée (who Alice had told me was both extremely rich and beautiful) he would realize that there were many women who were much more worthy of his affections than myself.

So it was with a heavy heart that I lay down with Edward for what I knew may be the last time, before I was forced back into reality and made to go back to my life as a companion or maybe become a maid and earn my way in the world. For, as much as I would love to believe him, Edward's promises were empty now that we were safely on dry land.

I had never been entirely convinced that Edward truly understood his feelings for me as I was so obviously out of his league that anyone could have told within a glance. It wasn't that I didn't believe him, just that I thought that Edward had been caught up in the romance of everything on board the great ship Titanic. And it definitely wasn't that I didn't love him, the grief and pure hollowness I had felt when I thought he had died had made me fully realize my feelings for him.

Of course when everything had been explained and I had found out that Edward was actually alive I had been ecstatic, and I was sure that that joy for life was probably the reason for his sudden love for me. Not that he hadn't told me before the sinking but his feelings seemed to have intensified and that was due, I was sure, to the fact that he was simply grateful to be alive. Not that he could be blamed for any of this of course. He obviously deserved better and I wasn't going to stand in his way for my own selfish reasons.

I curled up against Edward's chest, trying to memorize everything from the way his arms felt around me to the way his voice sounded as he spoke about amazing things, every word passing from his lips intrigued me.

I sighed and pulled myself closer still, wondering when in the morning they would be leaving and therefore how long I would have left of that day to find a source of income to tide me over until I could find a more permanent job.

"Bella?" Edwards honey-smooth voice pulled me from my musings.

"mmm?" I was content to drift off to sleep, warm as I was in his arms.

"What's bothering you?" I looked up sharply, wondering how he could possibly know.

"You've been really quiet all evening. And I know, given what you've been through, that that's to be expected. But I can't help thinking that it's something more than that."

He smiled slightly and I rested my head back on his chest.

"Silly I know. I guess I'm just over reacting."

I stayed silent hoping that he would misread my silence and assume that it was just the ordeal we had all been through, or that I had fallen asleep. Anything to avoid this conversation.

"Bella?" his voice was anxious and I realized that I would have to explain myself, as much as I hated to. I battled with my conscience as to whether to be truthful or spare Edwards feelings by not letting him see how much it would hurt me to leave him.

"Please sweetheart. You know you can tell me."

I sighed, rolling off of his chest and onto my side. He angled himself to face me so that our noses were almost touching, looking into my eyes and still keeping one of his hands protectively on my waist.

"Bella?" his voice was desperate, low, almost panicked. It was so different from the careful composure he kept at all times in public that it threw me for a minute, even his eyes were different, strangely expressive.

I looked away from his burning gaze before I answered.

"I was wondering…when you were all leaving tomorrow"

I would miss Alice and Angela almost as much as Edward, they had become like sisters to me. I was still trying to put this off but Edward picked up on my evasiveness.

"What do you mean 'when _you_ were all leaving'? I don't understand"

I ducked my head from his questions, trying to hide the tears already building up.

"Isabella?" the use of my full name would normally have made me look up automatically but I forced myself to remain looking down.

"Please Bella" Edward was whispering, a hidden emotion barely contained in his voice. I looked up then, not being able to stand his pain.

"I-I.." I swallowed loudly before saying the words to condemn myself. "I just wanted to know so that I know how much time I have to find a new job before nightfall. Of course my arrangements are still in place to stay with my fathers relatives so I don't need to worry about accommodation"

Edwards eyes tightened and the hurt and pain within them was easy to see.

"You…you don't want to come with me?"

I didn't miss the fact that he said me instead of us and that broke my heart a little more.

"No. It's not that." I was still trying to avoid his eyes but found it impossible when his fingers gently guided my face upwards.

"Please explain" his voice was eerily empty, yet it still held a trace of the pain burning in his eyes.

"I- I just don't want to be an inconvenience" I muttered feebly.

Edward starred at me incredulously before crushing me to him and stroking my hair.

"Bella. Stop being so ridiculous. I want, no. I need you to come with me. What made you think you would be an inconvenience? I love you Bella, I wouldn't want you anywhere but with me."

My heart soared at his words and beat so loudly that I was sure he would be able to hear it.

"Me neither" I whispered against his neck, trying to stop the tears, knowing that he would soon change his mind. And that it would be easier for both of us if it was sooner rather than later.

"Bella?" Edward pulled away slightly, obviously feeling the moisture on his neck, and I automatically tried to hide my tears from him by burying my head in the pillow. My attempts were in vain though because I involuntarily let out a small sob.

"Bella" his voice was shocked as he gently pulled my face away from the pillow, tenderly wiping the tears from my cheeks before kissing the salty trails they had left behind.

"Why are you crying? You don't have to come with us if you don't want to Bella. I don't want you to feel you owe me anything, because you don't. I only want you to come with us if you want to be there. I want you there, obviously, I always will. But you will always have a choice, you…" I cut him off by crushing my mouth to his, effectively silencing him as he kissed me back, almost seeming relieved.

"I'll always want to be with you" I reassured him "as long as you want me there"

He sighed, stroking my damp cheek softly with his fingertips.

"Are you sure?" he still seemed uncertain. How ridiculous that he could believe that I didn't want to be with him.

"Absolutely." I pulled his fingers away from my face and kissed them one by one. "Always" I emphasized.

"Then why were you crying?" he asked softly, stroking my hair again as soon as I freed his hand, affected by my tears more than anything else.

"I thought you wouldn't want me" I forced myself to look into his eyes as I confessed my fears, and by doing so there was no way I could miss the way the hurt look seemed to intensify in his eyes.

"Why?"

"Because you could do better" I answered automatically.

"Because I don't belong in the world of dinner-parties and money and beauty as anything but a maid, if that. Because you could do so much better, you deserve better. Someone rich and beautiful and intelligent and…"

Edward pulled my lips up to his as I was still talking, kissing me until I was dizzy and pulling me as close to him as possible. He rolled so that he was hovering over me, supporting his weight with his hands that were on the pillow on either side of my head. I gasped for air as his lips trailed down my neck and then captured my mouth again. He twined his hands in my hair and I did the same, running my hands through his soft locks. When he pulled away we were both gasping.

"You are the only person I will ever want. I don't care about the money Bella. You are more beautiful and intelligent than anyone I've ever met."

I blushed at the compliment and found myself drowning in his eyes until he kissed me again.

"What do I need to do to show you how much you mean to me?"

"Nothing" I whispered against his lips before resting my head on his shoulder "this is enough" and I suddenly realized, as he pulled me even closer towards him, that it was true. That he _did_ want me, just as much as I wanted him.

And the world was beautiful again, the pain in my heart eased and I could appreaciate everything a thousand times more.

"Sleep now, sweet Bella. Do not fret, you are the only one I have ever loved and my heart will always be yours" he kissed me softly on the forehead and I whispered "I love you" just before I slipped into unconsciousness.


End file.
